I’ve try to be better than before. but really, i haven’t change yet. at all. but I’ve try and try until I lost people around me (friends and boyfriend) because they don’t know why and how im gonna change. they don’t give me any chance to speak for the truth. they left me alone, in the darkness of life.
people think im crazy searching for something, that maybe i cant absorb it and try to do it. I wonder whether they do not know the meaning of strives. i seek for the truth. i want to be in a the good path. i hate my old self. i just want to be change in the good way, that’s all.
im not that good. im not like an angle. i do many sins. my heart is blacken, filled with black dirt(sins). i’ve trying hard not to get into trouble. but i, I’ve got a war in my mind that push me to get in trouble. that’s why i cant change.
My mother said that i had a soul, the soul that can help me change from bad to good. the soul that gave me a strength to get through all the problems that im facing. the soul that always be besides me, accompany me. and my mother always said that i have ALLAH. even though i don’t have any friends besides me, i have HIM to guide me to the good path.
i belonged to no one who belonged to me.who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a spark for every experience and an obsession for change. i belonged to ALLAH.
i'm also have try my own best for forget about memories between Akmal and me. Who's akmal? The unlucky men after he meet me and fall in love with me. I can't say "No boy. We can't getting back together. I want to change. I want to fall in love in Allah. That's all. Neither you trust me or not , i'm try my best." My tongue says i hate you. But, my heart? I don't know how to describe this annoying feeling.
Note : i want a change that cannot make other people heart hurt
people think im crazy searching for something, that maybe i cant absorb it and try to do it. I wonder whether they do not know the meaning of strives. i seek for the truth. i want to be in a the good path. i hate my old self. i just want to be change in the good way, that’s all.
im not that good. im not like an angle. i do many sins. my heart is blacken, filled with black dirt(sins). i’ve trying hard not to get into trouble. but i, I’ve got a war in my mind that push me to get in trouble. that’s why i cant change.
My mother said that i had a soul, the soul that can help me change from bad to good. the soul that gave me a strength to get through all the problems that im facing. the soul that always be besides me, accompany me. and my mother always said that i have ALLAH. even though i don’t have any friends besides me, i have HIM to guide me to the good path.
i'm also have try my own best for forget about memories between Akmal and me. Who's akmal? The unlucky men after he meet me and fall in love with me. I can't say "No boy. We can't getting back together. I want to change. I want to fall in love in Allah. That's all. Neither you trust me or not , i'm try my best." My tongue says i hate you. But, my heart? I don't know how to describe this annoying feeling.
Note : i want a change that cannot make other people heart hurt
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